By Christy (mom to Lucas, toddlers)
As a mother and pediatric occupational therapist, I have learned that there is no ONE handbook that tells us the best way to parent. It takes many books, articles, and advice sessions from friends, and it’s still SO hard. However, the new parenting book written by Dan Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D (authors of the best selling book The Whole-Brain Child) attempts to make it easier. The book is called No-Drama Discipline, and it is the best I’ve read so far at incorporating a developmental and research based approach to parenting.
So what makes this book different from all of the others? The book is an overall approach to parenting and discipline. The goal of the book is to help us as parents approach discipline in a responsive, intentional and developmental way, creating a strategy that is high on relationship and low on drama. And the authors are using easy-to-understand neurological facts about a child’s brain in order to help us turn typical parenting moments into chances to build brain connections that allow our children to better handle difficulties in the future. Because that is the goal of discipline, right? To teach!
There are so many wonderful sections of this book, but one of my favorites is a specific list of strategies called R-E-D-I-R-E-C-T. When our child is having a challenging moment (say, hitting mommy for example), try using one or more of these strategies to move your child away from his primitive and reactive “downstairs” brain and back to using his maturing logical “upstairs brain”.
Reduce words
Embrace emotions
Describe, don’t preach
Involve your child in the discipline
Reframe a no into a conditional yes
Emphasize the positive
Creatively approach the situation
Teach mindsight tool
I think this book is a must read if you’re looking for a new, easy to digest parenting book based on research and neurodevelopment. But, be warned, this book is not a “How to” book with specific chapters about specific parenting topics. It’s more of an overall guide to creating a new parenting attitude, with specific examples to help demonstrate the techniques.
Happy parenting!