by Liz (mom to Sunday, Pre3’s)
Every 40 seconds in the United States, a child becomes missing or is abducted. Perhaps the most important way parents can protect their children is to talk to them about how to deal with people and dangerous situations.
Telling your child not to talk to a stranger can be confusing. Who is a stranger? Is it a parent at your child’s school? A store clerk or Aunt Betty who lives across the country? This can be a difficult concept to understand. Instead, tell your child to check with you first, before talking to another grown-up.
If your child becomes separated from you in a store, tell him to look for someone with a name tag. This will help reduce confusion about which grown-ups he can trust. Let him know he should stay inside the store and not to search outside for you. Further, teach your child his first and last name, parents’ names and phone number.
Don’t take anything from anyone except the person in charge of you including parents, babysitters, or friends’ parents on a play date. Be specific about who and what. Kids are very literal, so it’s important to go beyond the “don’t take candy from a stranger” saying. Tell your child to check with you before accepting anything from anyone.
Give clear boundaries about how far away your child can go without you. If your child knows she can play on the playground but needs to ask before she goes anywhere else, she will better understand her limits and that you might not be able to see her otherwise.
Give your child the clear message that there are no secrets from mom or dad. This can be more difficult than it sounds, since we sometimes ask our children to keep a secret for a surprise party or gift. However, at this age, it’s best to be unambiguous. You can try to explain that surprises are different than secrets because they become exposed eventually.
Finally, talk to your child about how to handle a potentially dangerous situation. We teach children to be polite to adults, but your child should know that if he is in a dangerous situation to say no, run away, yell loudly, and tell a trusted adult right away. Make sure that your child knows it is okay to say no to an adult and to yell to keep himself safe, even if he is indoors.
Role-playing can be an effective way to practice these lessons in an open, casual manner. It’s important to start communication early and review your rules often. It’s never too early to talk to your child about safety.