by Alison and Kim, (moms to James and Maclean, Toddlers)
This month, a couple of our toddler moms did a presentation during one of our bi-monthly parent ed meeting. Both of these moms manage their households with 2-3 kids while their spouse has a career that takes them out of town on a regular basis. Below is a list of tips that they shared with our group which started a great discussion within our group. Hopefully you can find some gems in here that will help you and your family too.
Tips for Managing your Home/Life with a Busy or Traveling Spouse
Have a routine for communicating with your spouse while he/she is away and stick to what you are both comfortable with
- Facetime, Skype, sending videos from kids back and forth, packing/leaving a note for one another
- Determine what kind/amount of communication feels right for each of you
- Discuss and stick to expectations for while you are apart
Just say NO!
- Reduce commitments to the ones that feel totally necessary or bring you joy
- Streamline choices and commitments at home
- Each time we say YES to something, we are saying NO to something else. Yes to that party can mean no to snuggle time on the couch. Yes to that favor for a coworker can mean no to an extra favor for your spouse. YES to one more PTA duty can mean no to self-care. Instead of allowing a smiley ‘YES! SURE! OF COURSE!’ to be our knee jerk reaction- let’s make a conscious effort to take a pause and ask ourselves: If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to? To give myself time to consider this I usually say: “That’s such a nice offer! Let me get back to you about that!”
– Glennon Doyle Menton
Schedule time/moments of self-care
- Invite a friend over post-bedtime for a chat and glass of wine
- Swap babysitting hours with a friend or schedule someone to come over for a break
- Fill an evening that you would normally have been home as a family with an outing you and kids will enjoy
- Use “alone” time in the evening to dive in to a project, movie, etc. you have been holding off on
- Sweatpants, sweatpants, sweatpants!
Managing the home front
- Simplify where you can – meals, visitors, commitments, etc.
- Get or hire help if possible – babysitters, mother’s helper, yard care
- Do something that helps you enjoy your home (bring in flowers from outside, declutter a shelf, light a candle)
Appreciate the positives
- Spouse doing what he/she is passionate about
- Embrace the “coming and going” excitement J
- Use the travel schedule to be intentional about time with your spouse and friends
